I have a confession to make and a truth to share. Are you ready?
This will knock your socks off.
- I am NOT as strong as you think I am. Actually, I am not as strong as I think I am.
- Words matter.
Back in March I started a new post. I was about five paragraphs in when my husband (whom I really do love) meandered over to my desk, pulled up a chair, and said, “Mind if I read what you’re working on?” Note to self: in all future instances of queries of this kind the correct answer is “Yes”.
My husband is blunt. The characteristic of verbal finesse is non-existent within his essence. I know that. I have known it since before we tied the knot. Thankfully, after forty-something years of marriage he is often able to muster a degree of tact when conversing with family and friends. However, that family and those friends all know he is challenged in the area of considering another’s feelings. On the upside…one always knows where one stands with him and can expect an honest opinion or response. I have never, and will never ever, ask him that apparently “wife-ish” question, “Does this make me look fat?” It will not end well.
I’m sure you can see where this is heading.
He read my scant five paragraphs. After a moment or two to compose his thoughts he quipped, “Do you think people really want to know all of this? Don’t you think you may have too many details here…two much information?” (FYI, it was a really good post, and I will revisit it at a future time.)
“Yes…yes they do want to know this. Well, they don’t know they want to know it, but the details are important. They were important to me, and they are important to the entire story.”
That’s what I said aloud. However, the voice within me said something entirely different. The monologue within me ran a predictable course, beginning with ‘he doesn’t know what he’s talking about’, to the inevitable ‘I am a terrible writer, and I should never have started a stupid blog.’
And then the clicking of the keys stopped. There were a few days of actual irritation, but then a wordless void took up residence in my little blog.
Life went on. I have never been at a loss for something to do. Having a big family and living on an aspiring farmstead have a way of filling your days and nights. And my wounded ego festered a bit and then just settled down into a “git-er-done” list maker and chore machine.
But…I have a friend. We don’t see each other very often, as a rule…but circumstances have brought us together often over the summer. One afternoon, not so long ago, we sat sipping iced tea, and she casually remarked, “When are you going to write something in your blog? I check it occasionally to see if there is anything new, but you haven’t done anything in quite a while.” Her quiet southern drawl of a voice clashed louder than a clap of thunder in my heart.
Several weeks later during a conversation of a different sort, with a different loved one, I revisited this frustrating reality. Words have power. It’s rather mysterious, when one really ponders it. That whole head knowledge/heart knowledge thing is dangerously true. I know in my mind things about myself; I truly believe them with not a single doubt. You know things about yourself…how gifted you are in a certain area, how much you love specific people or things, what your biggest fears are…you KNOW them. However, some of us care a little too much about what others think of us…and what they think of our gifts and and our fears and our loves; and that ‘caring’ can cause us to doubt those things we know to be true.
For me, the doubt stopped me in my tracks for six long months. Finally, the doubt cracked and crumbled in the same way it had begun…with a few words.
There are dozens, if not hundreds, of adages regarding one’s words and the careful wielding of the powerful tongue. But my favorite true saying is a Proverb from the Bible.
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Proverbs 25:11
The right words at the right time are simply beautiful, and they can be powerful instruments in our journey through life.
We’ve all got words; let’s go out and use them for good.
P. S. Don’t hate on my husband…he has a good heart. And don’t worry…most likely he will never read this.